


Soon

by yutakoball



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Everyone's sad, Heavy Angst, JOHNNY IS SUPER OOC HERE I'M SO SORRY, JohnYu, Johnny is sad, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, Online Friendship, Platonic Relationships, doyoung is mentioned huhu, i am sad, taeil is just johnny's driver lol but i wanted him to be in the story hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 03:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17931755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutakoball/pseuds/yutakoball
Summary: Johnny and Yuta are online friends, about to meet for the first time in a proper setting. Johnny reminisces about the memories they had that eventually led up to this moment.





	Soon

_**"Yuta."** _

_**"Hm?"** _

_**"Promise**_   _ **me that one day all the videos of internet friends meeting at the airport you always**_ ** _send me will soon be a reality for us, okay?"_**

_**I watched as his 360p quality face on the other side of the screen broke into the biggest shit eating grin and I couldn't help but scoff, tempting to just smack the smile off his face.** _

_**"I promise you, Johnny Seo. This video call is just a mere temporary connection for us. We'll do all the things we've always planned to do together and forget about the world; just you and me. Okay? I know soon feels light years away, with the both of us getting enrolled in university and all, but the time will eventually come and everything will be worth it. I promise you."** _

_**My thoughts came to a halt, and my tensed shoulders eased at the sound of his voice saying such reassuring words. I looked back at the screen to see the same bright smile, feeling a wave of calm take over my body as I smiled back. Maybe waiting to see that smile right in front of me wouldn't be so bad after all.** _

_**"Besides, seeing my face in HD rather than through crappy webcam is an opportunity even you can't resist, am I right?"** _

_**Nevermind.** _

I chuckled bitterly at the memory, the ends of my lips unintentionally curling up whilst my already broken heart started to lose more of its pieces once again. With a staggered breath, my eyes closed as I started to question the decisions and choices that I had chosen that could have had played a part in leading up to this very moment filled the void of my head, accompanied by the pitter patter of the rain.

_What if I never made the decision to tell you how cute your dog is?_

_What if I chose to never start the conversation every day after that because I wanted to know you better?_

_What if I hadn't proposed the idea to finally set for us to video call each other?_

_What if I had never become your friend?_

_Would things turn out differently?_

My grip on the bouquet of white orchids became tighter at the thought of the last one but I decided not to dwell on it any further. I run my fingers gingerly on the petals, admiring the soft feel of them against my fingertips. The white petals of the orchid stood out more when placed in contrast with the black fabric of my pants. Such brightness of purity instantly became inappropriate, disrespectful even, as though the brightness of such an endearing and bright colour was mocking my monochrome point of view. I placed the flowers to the side and pulled out my phone to check the time.

"It seems like the rain has stopped, Mr Seo."

I looked out of the car window and sure enough, the sun could be seen hiding its rays amongst the previously grey clouds of the afternoon. 

"So it seems."

_Wednesday, 12th May 2017_

_**me: yukkuri idk if i can do the presentation** _

_**yukkuri: where are you now?** _

_**me: outside of the lecture hall. i'm feeling so fucking anxious. should i just ditch it? i mean i'm just gonna mess up anyway. i just.** _

_**yukkuri: youngho, listen to me. you're the most well-spoken person i've talked to. you're able to articulate your words well and are able to set an affirming and convincing tonality when needed. since you're doing it with a team, you're gonna do even better. this can be a big opportunity for you.** _

_**yukkuri: things will go smoothly. and even if it doesn't, you still put yourself out there. breaking out of this shell is one step forward to overcoming anxiety. it doesn't define you, so don't let it.** _

_**yukkuri: better regret doing something than regret not doing it. i believe in you, youngho.** _

_**johnny: .. i'm going in for the presentation. thank you, for everything. always.** _

_**yukkuri: kick ass and show them what you're made of!** _

_[read 12:11 pm]_

_**me: i'm done for the day** _

_**me: and i'm done with the presentation and i just. thank you so much.** _

_**me: i was awarded the highest marks for best presentation and was praised for it too.** _

_**yukkuri: AAAAAHHHHH I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU** _

_**yukkuri: congratulations!! i told you that you could do it!**_  

 _ **me:**_  ❤

 _ **yukkuri:**_  ❤

_[read 07:45 pm]_

Mr Moon, or Taeil as he much prefers to be called, announces to me that we've arrived. 

We got out of the car and proceeded to walk on the uneven pathway; feeling the mixed texture of dirt, grass and small pebbles under the soles of our shoes. I took in the atmosphere that was filled with silent screams of heartbreak, remorse, regret and despair. They were deafening, truly. And I'm sure Taeil hears them too. In a desperate attempt to focus to get to where I needed to be, I started to picture what would it be like to finally meet Yuta face-to-face.

I pictured his hugs, how tight they would be as they filled with sincerity. How his hands will feel around my waist, as he nuzzles his face unto my neck. The way he'd giggle doing so, tickling my neck with his breath and I just know I would never get enough of them.

I pictured his smile. The addictive smile that shone so brightly it brought colour to my world through my computer screen. I wonder how it would be seeing  _that smile_ in real life? The smile that could bloom flowers in an empty field. The smile so bright that it can be the light that guides you through the dark. To physically, see that same smile that saved me in times of doubt and darkness; would I be able to handle beauty so out of this world?

I pictured his presence. Oh, how would it radiate with positivity and love! His optimism and ability to see the best in negative situations and people. It was probably why he was such a wonderful team captain for his soccer team back in high school. He was chosen as the captain because of his charisma and confidence too. I always imagine he was able to attract and captivate everyone within just a step into wherever we go to. He also has an incredible sense of humour. The jokes and comments he makes throughout our video calls would send me rolling on the floor laughing for hours, imagine how it would be if we actually met? 

I pictured his wisdom. How sometimes the words that come out of his mouth could be the reason how someone was able to change their outlook on different situations. The way he was able to share such wise words in times of need and be there for me when I needed him the most, even when we were miles apart, are more than enough proof that he's someone I'd treasure till the end of time.

I pictured what it'd be like to finally tell him that he had changed my life in the best way possible.

But I couldn't. 

Because I now know that he'll never be able to get to know that. 

_**"Johnny, don't you think it's so weird that we have been friends since we first started high school even though we've never met before?"** _

_**I chuckled at the sudden question, not putting too much thought to it as I was in the midst of finishing the last sentence of an assignment due the next week. After stretching a little, I took a quick glance at the screen and was met with a bundled up Yuta watching me expectantly. Biting back a coo over how cute and tiny he looks, I decided to answer his question.** _

_**"It does seem strange, doesn't it? I mean the whole concept of being internet friends that is. We became friends because I went to DM you about how cute your dog is when we were like 14, not expecting anything to come out of the conversation. Even being lowkey scared of each other because we didn't know if the other was a total creep. Then now here we are, in our last year of university and I know you like the back of my hand, but we still hadn't even formally met yet."** _

_**"Damn, I was still living in Osaka back then. Do you remember when we talked about the universities we wanted to apply and the thought of finally being able to see each other in real life? Oh! Do you remember the list we made of things we need to do when we finally get to meet?"** _

_**Yuta's eyes slowly filled with light as he lists down all the memories and to-do lists we had made. His words were quick to leave his mouth accompanied by rapid hand movements for emphasis; the excitement and pure bliss he's showing just by simply talking about our friendship slowly radiating through the screen. I watched as he goes on and on about anything and everything in sheer awe over the fact just how bright he shines no matter how dark the night can be.** _

_**"Youngho."** _

_**I instantly snapped out of my thoughts at the sudden change of his tone.** _

_**"I'm a lot closer to you than you think I am. We look at the same moon every night. Maybe soon isn't so far after all, huh?"** _

_**I blinked. He smiled.** _

_**"Goodnight. I love you."** _

It wasn't that long of a walk. Eventually, the cherry blossom tree at the top of the hill came in full view. I hear Taeil trailing behind me, and though usually I'd love to be alone, especially during times like these, I am genuinely thankful for his presence right now. 

Our journey then came to a halt. 

Taking in a deep breath, I firmly wrapped both of my hands on the bouquet of white orchids and took a step forward. 

And another step.

And another.

Until I reached the beautifully engraved stone. 

_A Loving Son and a Cherished Friend by Many_

_Nakamoto Yuta_

_October 26th 1995_

_February 8th 2018_

I kneeled down and placed my fingers on the tombstone gently, tracing his name gingerly. The leaves from the tree above the grave danced lightly as the wind blew, causing the petals of the cherry blossoms to float down and decorate his resting place. The white orchids that I put on his grave complimented the green of the grass and the pink of the cherry blossoms perfectly, but no matter how beautiful the scene may be, I just couldn't find peace within myself to admire it. My eyes instinctively closed shut as I couldn't bear the pain of the memories that had been engraved in me struck me over and over again.

I felt a presence beside me and instinctively looked over; Taeil had kneeled down as well and placed white orchids of his own onto Yuta's resting place. I thanked him with a weak smile and was about to faced Yuta once more until a small voice beside me asks:

"I truly apologise if this may seem rude and disrespectful, and I completely understand if you don't want to answer this, but I am curious; Who is Mr Nakamoto to you? And well, what happened to him?" 

I turned back to Taeil, surprised at the sudden change of character compared to how he was back in the car. He looked intimidated by me, almost scared that if he were to say the wrong thing I'd go berserk. We already have a distinct height difference, seeing him in this state only made him look a lot smaller. It's almost amusing, really and I couldn't help but smile. 

"Well, to be fair, Taeil hyung, I did just pay you to drive me to a cemetery without any sort of context so it's perfectly understandable that you're confused and curious," I glance at the gravestone once more and smiled.

"Mr Nakamoto, or well, Yuta, is my best friend. Well, online best friend. Long story short, we met online at the age of 14 years old and became friends ever since. So yes, we've never really formally met but we constantly text, call and skype each other whenever we have the chance," I continued. Taeil nodded understandingly and waited for me to continue.

"We made a promise to one day be able to meet in real life. And after what seemed like forever, the day finally came. On 7th February of last year, Yuta texted me that he has a surprise for me for my birthday the night before my birthday which falls on the 9th. He said to be at the bus station near campus by 8 pm because he had asked one of our mutual friends, Doyoung, to give me the surprise. The catch was when I get there, I wasn't supposed to see Doyoung. Instead, I was actually supposed to see Yuta." At this point, I felt my voice faltered. A hand was placed on my left shoulder as I felt tears slowly staining my cheeks.

My eyes looked down to the grass of Yuta's grave and I instantly put my hand on it. I took a staggered breath.

"Yuta originated here, in Osaka. But he moved to Korea for university. The stupid fool went out of his way to travel from Busan to Seoul by bus. By bus! I was so confused as to why he'd do that but Doyoung eventually told me that he wanted to be able to sightsee on the way to see me. He wanted to tell me about all about his adventures," My vision was so clouded and blurred by tears, it became a lot harder to focus. I truly believed my words were almost slurred over how much I was crying, it was a miracle Taeil even understood anything I had just said.

"So the 8th rolls around and I was waiting at the bus station like I was told to. I waited and waited till about 8:45 pm rolls around and I got a phone call from a hectic Doyoung telling me that Y-yuta.. was in the bus to see me a-and got into a m-massive accident."

And then I completely lost it.

It felt as if nothing was truly real, as if talking to Yuta all this time was all just a dream. But seeing his body in the casket, so pale and lifeless yet still manages to look so enticingly charming and handsome. Seeing him that way made my soul felt like a butterfly pinned onto a glass screen that was my body.  I could do nothing but just, watch as he got carried away. The transparency between my soul and the glass windows of my eyes scared me as I hear my thoughts pounding against my skull like a thousand war of cries, begging me to stop because of how severely in pain I was, but the silence that came out of it was deafening, and was the very reason why the pain never left.

_**"Yuta"** _

_**"Yeah?"** _

_**"Do you believe the theory that you'll see your best memories flash before your eyes when you die?"** _

**_"Well... I don't know about that one. But I do believe that we will see our beloved ones once more."_ **

_**. . .** _

_**"Say, Yuta. Who do you reckon you'll see once that happens?"** _

_**"My mum, my family. Rapunzel, especially."** _

_**"Ah right. Of course."** _

**_".. But there can be other people, right? I mean, apart from family, there can be anyone else too, right?"_ **

_**"I guess so. Why? Who else do you have in mind?"** _

_**"You."** _

But I knew that was not what Yuta wanted. 

I didn't realise I was put into an embrace from Taeil the second I broke down, but I gently parted from the warmth and wiped my tears away. 

"Yuta wouldn't let me see the light of the day the second he sees me breaking down like this. He'd smack me to oblivion if he sees me still so caught up," I said to Taeil, letting out a small laugh.

"I'll leave you to it then, Mr Seo." 

I straightened my shirt, fixed my tousled hair and made sure I was rid of all tears and, well, snot. I turned to face the grave once more to act as if I had just arrived to visit for a proper meeting with my best friend.

"I guess soon did arrive earlier than I expected; we finally got to meet. Thank you for everything, Yuta. Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> been a while eh? firstly i apologise truly for making johnny so,,, not johnny here but i really wanted to make a johnyu au so vkjfvnjk this took me about 5 hours to write and it's 3 am right now i reALLY cannot be bothered to beta it i apologise. but yeah! i hope it's at least,, enjoyable to read :') i know i keep saying this but for real happier stories ARE coming i swear omg. 
> 
> i have twitter! it's yutadotes let's be friends huhu. thank you for reading!


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